Copycatted and inspired by: http://theanima.wordpress.com/2008/10/11/on-my-mind/
Disclaimer: Read at your own risk.
I want to raise a deaf/blind/mute/mentally disabled child and take care of him/her and make him/her someone great and be rewarded immensely by Allah (swt).
I want to be the wife of a shaheed. This wouldn’t make sense to anyone except me, so if you’re my friend and you don’t get it, don’t worry 
.
I want to know what it feels like to not have been granted with physical beauty.
I want to live to die for the akhirah.
What’s cool?
I wonder how women manage to walk in heels. I own none but when we play with those five inch pencil heels at the stores, I was the only one that fell. I would sprain an ankle if I walked in them from here to… there.
I want to completely get school, college, university… everything, off my head by the time I’m 20.
I want to learn Arabic and teach it.
I don’t get how to play this new American History game/course thing.
I want to major in Foreign Languages.
I want to learn how to control my anger.
I wonder if I’ll be alive when Imam Mahdi rules and when the Dajjal comes.
I want to perfect my culinary skills.
I want to travel the world: Saudi, Spain, Syria, Pakiland, France, Bosnia, Chechnya, Palestina, Iraq, China…
I want to see people who are NOTHING like me.
I wish my thoughts would turn into words as fast as lighting hits the ground.
I want to move into that house and watch the sun rise and shine every day from the backyard.
I want to memorize the Quran as fast as I can and retain it, for death is unexpected and I do not want to die without my heart containing Allah’s precious words.
I can’t wait for the Divine Speech seminar.
I can’t wait for my best friend to get married.
I don’t want my best friend to move to Egypt next year 
.
I want to play with Barirah.
I miss Barirah!
I want to do tawaf around the Kabah and run from As-Safa wal Marwa and imagine Hajer (RA) doing the same.
I want to know why people hate.
I want to know why people are so jealous!
I want to learn how to type in Arabic.
I wanna shake the hell out of immature teenagers.
I want to stop judging people at first sight.
I want to live on a farm.
I want to ride a horse and a camel and an elephant.
I want my little brother to be a hafidh.
I love my little brother .
I want to enjoy all the responsibilities that are upon me.
I wonder who I’ll be married to. It kill to think about it. It’s like something you want to know so badly… but it’s better if it remains hidden until it’s time, isn’t it?
I want to get over my fear of the dark.
I want to play in the snow and make snowmen.
I wonder if looks should matter.
I want to pop that pimple on my sister’s strawberry hill face.
I really wonder how desi I am.
It would be nice to learn to speak Urdu.
I wonder how people get depression.
I wonder if I’m narrow-minded.
I want to read non-fiction books.
I want to learn everything.
I want to organize my life.
I want to see the Prophet and be near him.
I want to meet all the great Sahabi one day.
I want that palace in Jannah so badly…
I want to concentrate in Salah.
I’m afraid of that day… when I’ll be held accountable for everything I did.
I want to drive at 100mph.
I wonder what makes people over-melo-dramatic.
I’m going to be an awesome mommy .
I wonder what I’ll look like when I’m as old as my grandma.
Writing all this makes me feel a whole lot better.
Oh, I want to cry. There is SO much to do and I feel like I’m failing everything. I’ve crammed so much in such less time. I have nine courses online. I don’t even know how I got to so many! I just signed up for everything I could in order to graduate this year, but even after so much effort, it’s not possible. I need four more credits to graduate. Inshallah before 2o10? I just want to finish up and get OVER IT!
I suppose it’s normal to get confused about what you want to major in. I had decided to major in Psychology at first until I realized that it’s half science and I wouldn’t really enjoy that as much. So then I thought, hey, Sociology sounds good until I started reading about all these disorders and mental diseases facing this society. It made me so… depressed. These people are supposedly the most civilized nation on Earth but their lives are void and empty. They’re so lonely. They’re so depressed! Why?! Don’t they realize what they’re missing? What’s the point of learning about their problems when you think they’re so silly and you know the cause?
So then I decided to go with Foriegn Languages. And what does my mother say?
“Do something that’ll get you a job in the future… You never know what’s going to happen in your life. Allah knows best, what if your husband dies or isn’t good or … blah blah blah.”
I have this image in my head that my husband WILL be amazing . He’ll be the one taking care of our needs unlike… some people. Do I live in a dream world or something?
So yes. Foriegn Languages… but then, what language? I wish I could just learn Arabic and… God, who needs a degree to succeed? Perhaps the only reason I’d want to go to college is for the name. Wouldn’t people think I’m dumb if I didn’t… I’d probably never end up married either!
Oh yeah, my memorization… That’s something I so badly HAVE to accomplish before going to college. It’s this really strong desire in my heart. I want to be able to have this relationship with the Quran and understand it… and teach it to others. I’ve probably just climbed the first… HALF of the first step.
One second I feel like I’m a kid (thanks to my mother) and then the next, I feel like I’m grown up and responsible. Responsible enough to… .
Oh! I drove on the highway! At 80 mph! Man, it was awesome. That was the second time I drove and I got to go on the highway. But then whenever I ask my mom if I could drive with her, I get a big fat no. Makes me feel like a little kid.
Even though it feels scary growing up so fast, the next few years of my life are ones that I’m looking forward to. Really looking forward…
Filed under: Humor
Wanna hear something even weirder…
I was looking for this book that I got from the library and it was like 1 week overdue. I couldn’t find it. I looked under my pillow, bed, mattress… under the clothes, comforters, and what not in my room (my room looks awful at the moment)… And yeah, I have books next to my pillow. So I’m looking for it everywhere and getting worried. If I don’t find that book, my mom is gonna kill me for being so irresponsible and not to mention the high late fees.
And then, disappointed, I go to tell my mom about it. I glance at the shelf, and it’s right there. I was wondering what it was doing THERE.
