I know a 16 year old who is: married, has a three month old baby, is drop dead BEAUTIFUL, has memorized the entire Quran, is extremely sweet… and well yeah, all at the mere age of sixteen-almost-seventeen.
The first time I met her, I didn’t want to really talk to her because, I don’t know, it just seemed so weird. I’m about the same age as her. I felt like a child compared to her. My first reaction after hearing about how she was already married (and pregnant at the time) was that of… perhaps pity or “Ew! What on earth!? How did she do it?” At the time, I had the typical American mentality. I took “education” and college and career to be more important and if marriage was ever mentions, my initial reaction was “no way, not until I’m twenty something”. I didn’t want to be “friends” because I felt like we didn’t connect. I am, well, American and she was from Bangladesh and barely spoke any English. She spoke just a bit of Urdu so we’d try to converse in extremely awful broken Urdu…
But time passed… And my thoughts changed. I go through drastic changes in opinions almost every month. I learn from every event that takes place in my life. So almost nine months later, I met her again. She had the baby with her who is obviously just as beautiful as her mama 
. But this time, I didn’t feel like it was so wrong that she was 17 and had a baby to take care of or that she had gotten married so early. I didn’t feel like she was missing out on life. I actually felt like she was LIVING life.
Who has their entire lives set out at that age? I mean, normal kids our age are too busy stressing about school and college and tests and by the time they’re finally done stressing out, they’re almost 25 years old. Ah well, the whole system is just retarded. Most guys want to have a career so they can support their to be families, and you can’t have that set out until you’re into your twenties. They make it so hard for you… just because they’re okay with having relationships out of marriage and we’re not. I really wonder if there’s a solution…
Oh, that reminds me of something I watched: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq_YMzx3M10&feature=related. A fifteen year old and an eighteen year old that want to get married because they think they’re “ready” and mature enough for it. Heck, the kid didn’t even know how much he earned in a year! I swear I’m a hell lot more mature! I know how to file tax returns and write checks and pay bills :) and cook and do the laundry and clean and blah blah. But alas, I’m still mama’s baby.
Filed under: Islam | Tags: destiny, forwards, friends, hardship, Islam, life
My friend sent me this PPT. Really, I can’t help but think how someone would actually buy that rubbish explanation on why we have hardships. Riddikulus.
It goes something like this:
“What did I do to deserve this? Why does God let these things happen to me?”
And then it goes on to give a rather senseless explanation.
“A daughter tells her mother how everything is going wrong for her; she probably failed her Math exam, her boyfriend just dumped her… for her best friend (wow, girl, you live the “perfect” American life). In times so sad, a good mother knows just the thing to cheer up her daughter.
“I made a delicious cake.” In that moment, the mother hugged her daugter and walked er to the kitchen, wile her daughter attempted to smile.
While the mother prepared the utensils and ingredients, her daughter sat across from her at the counter. Her mother asks, “Sweetheart, would you like a piece of cake?”
Her daughter replies, “Sure, mom, you know how I love cake.”
“Alright…” the mother said, “Drink some of this cooking oil.”
Shocked, te daughter responded, “What?!?! No wayy!!!”
Ok whatever, she goes on telling her daughter to eat them raw ingrediants and the daughter gets shocked each time.
And then the mother goes, “All of these things are uncooked and taste bad, but if you put them together… They make a delicious cake!
God works the same way. When we ask ourselves why does he make us go through these difficult times, we don’t realize the what/where these events may bring us. Only He knows and he will not let us fall. We don’t need to settle for the raw ingredients, trust in Him… And see something fantastic come about!”
Does it make much sense? It’s more like the non-muslims came up with an explanations to soothe their minds, ha! But how could a Muslim could believe in it… trust me, this friend of mine believes anything anyone says. And in this case, it was her aunt.
I hear those words from people A LOT. Every time someone dies… “Why? Why? Why did Allah do this to me? I haven’t wronged anyone, yada yada yada.”
I remember our Islamic studies teacher explaining it more than once. It made life more easy to understand. She explained that hardships came our because of three reasons:
1. Sins- We sin too much, and so Allah gives us a bit of a poke to make us realize where we’re headed. Like sometimes, you sin (sometimes without even knowing it) and you get punished right away.
2. Trials and Tests- Well, basically, you’re being tested to see how strong your iman is. You fail if you ask WHY Allah did this and that to you.
3. Wake-Up Call- Sometimes we get too carried away… and then BAM, there’s chaos in our life. You know, like a death in the family or a financial problem and then you turn to Allah for help (and then often times you forget Him after your purpose is served).
And anyways, what’s there to complain about when you’re going through hardships?! Your sins are being forgiven! Well, unless you keep complaining, I suppose.
Filed under: DiscoverUlife, Notes | Tags: how to win friends and influence people, life, Notes
Rule 1: Don’t condemn, criticize or complain.
Well, personally, I hate it when people find my faults (especially parents) but then I don’t find it too difficult to find fault in others. Hmm…
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain–and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
“A great man shows his greatness,” said some Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”
That reminds me of the sunnah of the Prophet. I wonder… if Mr. Carnegie knew about Muhammad (SAW) and how he dealt with people, he would’ve surely accepted Islam hehe .
So my two cents after reading the first chapter: try to see the situation from the other person’s eyes before condemning them because they think they haven’t done anything wrong whatsoever and they are really sincere about it. Criticizing someone isn’t going to persuade that someone that they’re wrong. The more you tell them they’re wrong about something, the most they will try to justify themselves. I mean… we all do that when someone finds our fault (like today my mom told me I yell too much :S and I’m like… I was just talking and she’s like NO, YOU YELL TOO MUCH! and so I’m like… uh. ok.) so yeah, and I really did not think I was yelling, I was just trying to get my point across.
Let me tell you about Al Capone (he must be a pretty old criminal since this book was written so long ago). Al Capone was America’s most notorious Public Enemy. Capone didn’t condemn himself. He regarded himself as someone who was doing more good than harm. He thought he was helping people. He claimed to be a “public benefactor”.
And then there’s “Two Gun” Crowley who once said, ” Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one–one that would do nobody any harm.”
Ah, but he was a serial killer!!! So yes, telling people how awful they are isn’t going to change them, it’s just going to hurt them. But if you must criticize…
Then well, you’ll find out when I write notes for that chapter of the book
