Filed under: DiscoverUlife, Notes | Tags: how to win friends and influence people, life, Notes
Rule 1: Don’t condemn, criticize or complain.
Well, personally, I hate it when people find my faults (especially parents) but then I don’t find it too difficult to find fault in others. Hmm…
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain–and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
“A great man shows his greatness,” said some Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”
That reminds me of the sunnah of the Prophet. I wonder… if Mr. Carnegie knew about Muhammad (SAW) and how he dealt with people, he would’ve surely accepted Islam hehe 
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So my two cents after reading the first chapter: try to see the situation from the other person’s eyes before condemning them because they think they haven’t done anything wrong whatsoever and they are really sincere about it. Criticizing someone isn’t going to persuade that someone that they’re wrong. The more you tell them they’re wrong about something, the most they will try to justify themselves. I mean… we all do that when someone finds our fault (like today my mom told me I yell too much :S and I’m like… I was just talking and she’s like NO, YOU YELL TOO MUCH! and so I’m like… uh. ok.) so yeah, and I really did not think I was yelling, I was just trying to get my point across.
Let me tell you about Al Capone (he must be a pretty old criminal since this book was written so long ago). Al Capone was America’s most notorious Public Enemy. Capone didn’t condemn himself. He regarded himself as someone who was doing more good than harm. He thought he was helping people. He claimed to be a “public benefactor”.
And then there’s “Two Gun” Crowley who once said, ” Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one–one that would do nobody any harm.”
Ah, but he was a serial killer!!! So yes, telling people how awful they are isn’t going to change them, it’s just going to hurt them. But if you must criticize…
Then well, you’ll find out when I write notes for that chapter of the book
